When it comes to style I currently find myself stuck in the in-between. I am 2 months postpartum and 25 pounds heavier than my normal pre-baby weight. I say my "normal" weight because my body had maintained 163 pounds for about 8 years with me living a moderately healthy lifestyle. So I realize that 160 -165 pounds is a healthy realistic goal for me to set while working out and eating healthy after having True. While I am currently working towards my health goal, the problem is that my maternity clothing is to big and my regular clothing is to small. I find myself wearing baggy t-shirts and yoga pants most days because that is all that fits me and to be honest the thought of shopping for clothes is a little depressing. After having a baby your body completely changes and it is hard to know what size you are. And seeing how clothing now fits your new shape can be challenging to your body image. I personally made the mistake of trying on my favorite pair and jeans a few weeks ago and when they didn't even reach my upper thigh I was overwhelmed with anxiety. "Too soon. Too soon." I told myself and vowed to not do that again anytime soon. Having a baby has definitely been a challenge to my personal body image stirring up feelings about my body that I haven't felt in a really long time. Deciding to practice what I preach, while designing my new website I decided to challenge myself and do a photoshoot at the size I am right now. That meant that I had to ditch my yoga pants and put together some great looks by doing a little shopping.
Knowing that I am a larger size then normal I decided to not focus on size at all and instead I paid attention to beautiful textures, colors, patterns, and outfits. I loved this black dress from Zara because of it's beautiful lace detail. For most of us online shopping requires a personal algorithm to determine if an item will look good on our bodies based on the image we are being sold. After studying the size chart I got a size XL and prepared myself for the reality that this dress will look differently on my body vs the model selling it.
I was right! The dress was not loose on my arms and body like the image being sold but it actually looked beautiful hugging my shape. It was a little shorter than I expected and so I paired it with these studded flats that I also ironically purchased from Zara years ago.
I loved how these images turned out and it really helped me to realize again that size doesn't define beauty or style for that matter. I don't look better or worse, I just look different at various sizes. I hope that as women we can start to realize that it is ok to shop for the body that we have right now vs. putting our lives on hold in hopes of reaching a smaller size to be "worthy" of feeling beautiful. My yoga pants and t-shirts are still my go to when I have my work days from home but knowing I have a few beautiful pieces I can put on for an event or date night makes all the difference.